Eugene,
You can specify the standalone.xml in the Optional program arguments while configuring the server connector or create a new launch configuration and add it to the Program agruments section in the Arguments tab.
The Optional shutdown arguments is by default : –connect command=:shutdown
It looks like you are still working with an unsupported release of MyEclipse, MyEclipse 2014. Please upgrade to the latest MyEclipse 2017 to take advantage of many new features, fixes and enhancements made to MyEclipse post the release of MyEclipse 2014.
Let us know if you have any questions.
–Swapna
MyEclipse Support