Stephen,
This request has been asked for many times before. Although I would add in 90% of the cases where people are asking for this, it turns out they aren’t using Exploded Deployment/Hot Syncing or Context reloading of their app server correctly so they are totally unaware of the fact that they don’t usually need to restart between changes.
If you are aware of all this and know you cannot avoid the restart, then I’ll just ask you hang in there. We are planning to revamp how app servers are launched in 5.0